2004-06-02 - 10:19 p.m. - R.I.P. Smegol

Today my cat Smegol passed away. He was sick the min. I got home and I thought maybe he was just pouting cuse I had been gone for so long. He then later last night was obviously in pain so we took him to the Animal E.R. and discovered he had a urinary tract blockage. They performed the proper procedure and as most cats after such, should have rebounded fine. However, he just went from bad to worse and we then found out he had too much kidney damage. He was in too much pain and I couldn't do anything... So at around 2pm he passed away peacefully in my arms.

I had him for barely a year, but he was definatly my baby. I will miss him terribly and think of him every time I see the fictional creature of his namesake. Goodbye my precious little river hobbit. I love you.

2004-05-31 - 6:39 p.m. - Anime Mid-Crazyness!!!

We won Best in Show! Third year in a row! (hey, that rhymes.)

Well, it's about the middle of my crazy month for the begining of the summer. I had some good times and some bad. Some moments of hapiness, some moments of sadness, and then a few moments of my own sheer stupidity. Uhg, but everything is going to work out.

My only regret is that even though I havn't really lost a friend, but a big part of me is afraid I may have never had one as great as I thought in the first place. I just feel like... I feel like Grace has lost her Will, and it really really hurts inside. It hurts so much to think of the things I've done and things I've felt, and have the huge fear that they were all for the wrong reasons, or all for someone else's gain. How can things be the way they were if they never were in the first place? And what I think hurts the most is that the one person who should be reading this never will because he never cared enough to read anything I've written in the first place. I'm moving on, I'm in a better place, and I still have a friend, just no trust anymore. The End.

Oh, and Dark Muffins are no more.

No, we aren't split up, but any of my future cosplay envolvements will not be known as "Dark Muffin Productions" anymore. No big deal, should have happened sooner. But we're going to have a great time anyway. Keepin the Faith.

Now I'm going to finish up here in Virginia, head back to Tennessee to pack, then go to Atlanta and have an amazing Lord of the Rings day, then go back to Virginia and have an amazing family beach vacation. Woot!

Current mood: multiplied
Current fortune: blank(left the cookie in the car)

2004-05-15 - 2:00 a.m. - One Day, One Night

Wow, one chapter ends, another (and infinatly more interesting and fun) chapter begins. Still not sure on my exact scedule, but I don't like to keep things too set down on paper anyway. Spur of the moment is more fun from time to time then planned out perfect eavnings every night. What am I talking about?!? I have no idea, except I'm so excited that Summer is here!

Dozens of movies, 3 or 4 conventions, a beach trip, pleanty of family and friends trips, and oh yeah... a Job!

Now the big question is where do I spend this incredible Summer, I think I know, but every time I do... I change my mind. Arg!

Oh well, moving on. This weekend is Troy, close family, and then finally leaving for Virginia! Going to have a great time, and I can't wait to see everyone. I also can't wait for it to be over so I can start my next job.

Oh, and I'm sure I'll have a nice rant tomorrow after seeing Troy (being the big fan of "The Illiad and The Odyssey" that I am).

Current mood: relieved
Current fortune: Don't bite off more then you can spit (I love this e-fortune cookie!)

2004-05-08 - 6:52 p.m. - Riddick rules my world

2004-05-08 - 2:11 a.m. - Van Hel-D... and why I'm a lazy bum

(Spoiler Free, I promise, although it may not seem like it)

I'm such a lazy, stupid slacker!I can't believe this! I just came back from Van Helsing, and it made me cry. Not for the reasons you may think though. No, I'm crying because of my idiotic lack of motivation.

Years ago, perhaps around age 11, I discovered an amazing yet simple film called "Vampire Hunter D", and I fell in love. Although the original novels, by Kikuchi, that the character is from are not translated from Japanese, I have familiarized myself with the synopsis of their lore, stories, and ofcource the main character. I even have gone as far as to have a binder full of printed information and fanfics, a laminated book of printed Amano artwork (created the official look of D par Kikuchi's descriptions), and a sorta shrine/collection of a few collectibles. He's always been mine, in my heart, everything I learned about him, I hold close and in a very special place. Anyway, mush mush over a fictional character, I know, but hey... every girl has something like this in her life. You know it's true.

Then, around 1997/8, when the second VHD film had been announced as "in production", I began to write notes and tell my fellow students and anime fan friends about a fanfic caracter I created for the D universe. It's an extremely elaborate 6 part story that strongly involved D in a tragic love story, yet doesn't effect the actual novels that he originated from. A love that he keeps loosing, and has a hard time with but eventually has to learn to let go. I specifically created them so they could happen in any time between any of his actual official stories (which is a theme of the original novels, skipping around time, with no really set time line). They involved every creature imaginable in D's world, both of magic and science. Still a fanfic series, but still I tried to keep it original.

Now the time leading up to Van Helsing, I was like most of the other D fans... outraged at the visual similarities, yet trying to keep an open mind about the film itself being an original and entertaining experience. Don't get me wrong, it is a great film. Van Helsing may look the part, but he is not D. Once I realized this, it wasn't hard to enjoy the film for what it is, a happy romp through classic monster movies' past.

So what could make me cry if the movie was so great? Well for that you have to look at the root "love" story, and the female heroine's motivation. As soon as someone on screen opened their mouth about her, I started kicking myself. "Oh my freakin frack frick..." By the end, I was sobbing at the specific scenes that I had imagined and described years ago, before this film was even a glimmer in director Steven Sommer's imagination. I can't help but think, if I had actually taken the time to type up my notes and stories into the actual 6 part story, could I be a rich woman right now? Or at least have a more creditable story to tell. Hell, I'm not even in touch any more with many of the people I originally told this story to. "Why!?! Why am I so lazy!"

To top the cake, this is like the 8th time I've seen a film (or read a book) where I felt as if I had just written my stories when they first spilled out of my head, then I could be the name on the marquee, I could be the writer of this story that so many people are enjoying.

That's it, I'm typing everything up starting now. I can't take any more wonderful films like this. Fanfiction or original story, they're going to be typed up in one way or another. Look out literary world, here I come!

Current mood: unbelievable
Current fortune: Your example will inspire others

2004-05-07 - 2:22 a.m. - ...busy, working...

Crapy Voncrap Crap! My windows crashed again, just wasted a day away trying to recover or reinstall. Ended up reinstalling. Figures it would hapen less then a week after I delete the backup files on my secondary hard drive. I'm used to it actually, having win98 for so long, it's just that I expected it to stop after getting winXP update. Arg, constantly watching TechTV for ideas and preventive measures to keep all this from happening, happens anyway. Oh well, still doesn't cost me much (or anything) so I'm keepin it :) Just be a few days again before I get my compy settings back the way I like them. I know it wasn't a virus this time though. Actually, it was the second time this has happened to me. Last time I installed and used msn messenger, my compy crashed, and I did it again the day before it crashed this time. Never again!

So much going on as well I can't keep it all straight, I have to write it down and look it up to see what I'm doing next. Oh, mom is buying a car tomorrow. Yay, finally something that doesn't shake violently when you use the breaks. Uhg! I would have been at the test drive, but it was the Friends finale tonight. I actually hadn't seen a single episode from this season, but I have seen every other season completly, so I really didn't want to miss it for old times sake. I cried, but then I laughed, cuse Joey gets his own show, going to be a riot... hopefully.

I'm so busy right now my head is spinning, and there are people i'm trying to reach since I was compy-less for a few days, and I'm not getting much luck. Excuse me while I get more flustered and exasperated.

Current mood: ...what do you want, I'm busy!
Current fortune: A guilty conscience needs no accusing

2004-05-04 - 2:05 a.m. - life, or something stranger

Isn't it strange when you realize you've planned out the next 4-5 years you have ahead, and even go so far into it that you have specific dates up to 3 years in advance. Oh my! Yeah, I've done it. Life is funny that way I guess. I've also just realized that my begining of summer travel plans span a whole month, minus a few days in the middle where I'll be home. Crazy! That's alot of packing to do in two school weeks. Or maybe I'll just postpone my initial departure untill I'm fully packed. That would be wise, says the old horse. (WHAT?) Wow, I'm hyper and crazy right now. I can't believe my birthday month is over already. Thanks to Fantasm I totally forgot about Easter, which isn't that bad actually, I didn't need all those candy eggs anyway. Durring a break today, I feel asleep on a park bench, woke up and went on with my business, only to find 2 hours later that I had a red imprinted cheek that entire 2 hours. Arg. Oh, that Dvd addiction is getting to me, and I'm not even using money, I'm using Best Buy bucks that I'm getting now from a time when I did use money. *shakes fist vigrously* Damn you Best Buy, you tempt me with your free money! *shake shake* And now my counter isn't working. I'll make a more sence making post tomorrow or wednesday...

Current mood: uuuuuhhhh... *something profound*
Current fortune: Hear the other side